Monday, September 04, 2006

No, please don't make me have that piece of chocolate!

Howdy all. You were starting to give up on me, weren't you? Truth be told, I think I started to give up a little on myself as well. Saturday, no doubt, I couldn't blame myself for remaining fairly comatose. Sunday, though, I meant to go cycling with the local bike club and didn't. So today, when I didn't get up early enough to go work out before the warmth of day, I began to worry. Was I going to return to my inactive lifestyle?

I admit, I had given in to Jack in the Box and Snickers over the past few days, but that was supposed to be temporary. But, as the morning wore on and I remained in my pajamas, I had to wonder: Was my plan for temporary refuge in convenience food and inactivity (except for during work) going to backfire and lead to a permanent return to the unhealthful lifestyle I was escaping?

At 6:09 pm today I had my answer: absolutely not.

In fact, I had the same thought that I've had in the past when eating fresh fruit for the first time in a long time: Why had I deprived myself of this joy? That's what the title is referring to. Today, I realized again that training is a pleasure, and I shouldn't deny myself that pleasure.

Stepping out to run again, I felt alive. The stress of planning for tomorrow ebbing, my body and mind being once again pushed to complete a purely athletic task, I encountered the zen-like joy of play. Really, that's what all of this is, I realized. Play. Why deny myself this?

Sure, it's hard, difficult, and painful sometimes, but overall, it's wonderfully rewarding. I'm so glad to be back.

Surprising myself, I successfully met my own challenge and ran 2.5 miles without stopping today, despite the break. My average running pace was 12:48 min/mile. Not too shabby, I think, all things considered. I returned to a particular part of the river that I hadn't run along for a while. I was surprised at how much farther I was going to meet my current distance! (Bonus!)

I was well and truly drained when I returned to my car, however. I sat for a while, drank, enjoyed some Sport Beans, and gazed out at the park for a while, relishing the feeling before changing to go out for a ride.

My ride wasn't quite as successful. That run really sapped my energy (good!), so my ride was much slower than it normally might have been. Still enjoyable, and - since it was dusk - I think I got to sample some new bugs today for a protein boost. It did feel good to get back on the bike. (It's been way too long from cycling). I'm really going to have to work that back into my schedule.

Unfortunately, today showed me that I'm not ready for a 33 mile hilly ride on Saturday. Instead, I'll do the flat beginner's ride. There's a possibility that I'll get some well-needed tips on group riding during that ride, so perhaps it's for the best.

Since I'd neglected my "Sunday Stats" for a while anyway, I'll post those again this coming Sunday. I'm relieved to see that I've gained back surprisingly little weight over this past week.

Ah, once again: it's good to be back.


Heather said...

Welcome back! Good job on getting back to it... This is a change in life, there will be times when you fall a little under par. The key is to not giving it all up because you can't claim perfection.

I have not been doing my weigh ins either. My weight has suffered in the absence of the public.

The carbo canteen seems to be doing a weight-loss challenge, if you're interested.

Karen said...

Thanks! You know, I think that one of my biggest downfalls with being healthy has (in the past) been too much of an all-or-nothing attitude. Being aware of this, and trying to maintain it, I think, is a significant step forward.

But, on that note, I'm going to steer clear of the challenge. Good for the people that will do well with it, but I'm way too competitive and am afraid it would backfire for me. Baby steps, here. :)