Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Not Fat Enough. Who Knew?

So a little discussion about my blog fired up elsewhere in internetland. Turns out that a beautiful, young, overweight woman became inspired to start her own blog about being a fat athlete. Good for her. The more of us, the better.

What bemused (and amused) me, however, was that she sorta dissed me for not being fat enough to be a fat athlete.

Knock me over with a twinkie.

Not "athlete" enough, maybe. Not friggin' "blogger" enough (lately), I can get behind. Not even anti-weight-loss enough, sure. But not fat enough? Hm.

Well, you know, I knew the time would come when, perhaps, I would face the confusion the infamous Fat Cyclist faces. He is in no way fat. Now. Back when? Yeah, he used to be fat. But things change. Must he really shed the nickname "Fatty"? Would I have to one day change the name of my blog?

But there was no way that I thought I'd face that sort of... what? scorn? confusion? befuddlement? "you're not a member of our fat club anymore"?... Anyway, there's no way I thought I'd face that when I'm still around sixty pounds overweight.

I mean, I guess I'm not complaining. I guess. It just feels sort of odd. I mean, I'm still fat. I'm not a size four complaining about my (normal) belly pooch. I'm still medically obese. No, I'm not morbidly obese, but I used to be. And now, already, I don't count for some people because I'm not fat enough. And, while I'm happily looking forward to the day that I can't even call myself overeight, I'm somewhat perplexed at the feelings that arise when some say that I'm not overweight enough. What an interesting place to be.

How bizarre.


Amazon Runner said...

Congrats on no longer qualifying! LOL

Grrl said...

Actually, as the likely offender-- being the woman who started the blog I didn't say you were not fat enough. What I did say was that people face different levels of fat perception out in the world. And I guarantee that the shit you get for being fat at the size you are and the shit I get for being fat for the size I am are really different kinds of shit. Regardless, it all still stinks.

Additionally, you can check out my blog and see that I didn't say that there. Where I did say it was in a friends-locked Live Journal Post that someone then asked me to post to the Live Journal Community fatheletes.

Here is my direct quote: "There is Fat Athlete who is by a woman who calls herself "significantly overweight" However, given what she ID's her weight as, she must be pretty short. Even at the weight she started her blog-she was not, imo, significantly overweight, and I say that as someone who lives in a "morbidly obese" body.

So, as you can see, it was clearly a personal opinion.

You get to define your own fat, I get to define mine.


Karen said...

Grrl, happy to see you here. I know what you said; moreover, I don't have a problem with what you said. I was just reacting with my feelings about the implications to what you said. My inference was clearly not solely my own, judging from the other responses to your comment.

What I find interesting is how you say that you didn't dismiss my level of "fatness"... and yet you then say that we each define our own fat.

Anyway, there's no need to get defensive. I didn't and don't have a problem with it. I do get that there are different experiences for us, just as there would be for a 6'5" tall woman and a 7'0" tall woman. I was just sorting out the feelings that arose for me. Which, surprisingly enough, were somewhat conflicted. It's weird to lose an identity, and even weirder to lose it (according to some) earlier than expected.

(Said as someone who also did, not so long ago, live in a "morbidly obese" body.)